Knobheads.

Knobhead - A person with absolutely nothing to give to the world, has no moral standards and is        basically a cunt.

This blog isn't about a single knobhead it's about knobheads in general, I fucking hate knobheads and although I live here, Liverpool seems to be the place were knobheads feed and grow. Does our city have some sort of fucking dysfunctional oxygen cycle that we don't know about, some fucking gas leak somewere that when smelt you instantly turn into a bad fucking bellend? I'm pretty fucking sure it does.

We all know a knobhead. For instance, if there's a group of 5 lads, at least 2 of them will be knobheads. It's the same ratio with girls and 'slaggyness', this is simply a fact.

How to tell if you're a knobhead:

• You say you're scouse when you're from Ellsmere Port.
• You terror someone on Twitter then the minute someone finds out who you are you go quiet.
• You take any fictional characters tweets to heart. Cough cough.
• You press the stop button at the lights when you have no intention of crossing the road.
• You chat utter shit in Burger King after a night out.
• You think you're mad because you went to boxing for 5 weeks when you were 14.
• You bail your mates when you get a bird.  
• You butter your toast and put the crumbs back into the tub.
• You try to terror someone on Twitter and your picture is an egg.
• You comlain about your football team, and think you have a wider knowledge than the manager in charge when really you're just a part-time binman who has never been to a game. 

Those are just a few from about 10,000 ways you can tell if someone is honing their knobheadness.

Now personally, I don't know about you but to me I can tell who a knobhead is just by looking at their face. They're moody looking twats, faces like an overcooked Chicago Town pizza and constantly walking around like they've been set on a personal mission to look like a mad cunt.

I avoid knobheads at all times, if I see a knobhead walking toward me to ask me directions, I'll immediatley point him the wrong way, this doesn't make me a knobhead, I'm actually doing people a favour by simply pointing them the way out of the city and nearer to Kirkby. I've done this about 5 times in the past 2 months, if you know a knobhead in Kirkby then they've probably been sent their by me. 

A car once pulled up to me, full of mancs, they had an away game at Anfield. Now I'm nor red or blue and you all should know by now that Bethlehem F.C is where my passion lies. But, this car, this fucking little F reg Nissan Micra was plastered in 'Red Devils' stickers, these were the type of lads that go the barbers and ask for a fucking fringe. Heads full of greasy hair gel. You know the type, Manchesters own version of wools. Queer rings in, collars up, silver bracelets on, listening to some Blazin' Squad, this was their fucking big day out. Anyway, they asked me "Arite pal, dy'a know where Liverpools is from here?". Bearing in mind we were in fucking Anfield, i found the temptation to lead them into town. The directions I gave them were as follows: "Go down this road here, it will take you to county road, when you get there take a left, you'll see a sign on Scotland Rd saying Town Center, head towards that. Carry on through all of the lights and you will end up on a round about, there's a tunnel leading from this and as soon as you pass through it Anfield is your first left". They replied "Ar cheers pal". To which I replied "Sound, take it easy".

  

I'm not sure what happened to this group of inbreds but they took my information seriously and even my mate said I seemed legit. Possibly at some point a little red Nissan Micra was paying a tunnel fee to Birkenhead. Success.

This BLOG in short:

• Don't be a knobhead.
• Make knobheads extinct from your city, remove them when possible.
• Nissan Micras are shit.